I don’t remember what exactly happened that day as it was many years ago but it was in an hospital. After a long and tiring wait, we couldn’t wait to see each other for the first time. I think I was all crying and disgusting but she just couldn’t wait to hold me in her hands. The relationship that started that day has been nothing but beautiful till today even though I didn’t really talk anything with her for a few years after that.
The only memories I could remember of my initial childhood days were how I never let her do stuff or go to places and kept bothering her. But instead of being irritated and shouting at me, she sat down and explained everything to me with a ray of hope that I would understand things even at that age. And if not for those understanding words those days, I never would have grown up with whatever maturity I have today.
When I was too much involved into studying, without knowing the outside world and the beauty of it, she explained to me how grades aren’t everything and how there are much more important stuff in this world. She opened me to this whole new world of beauty and excitement which is the sole reason for my little bit of sanity I have today.
When I came to her crying about the bullies in my school, she consoled me by saying how those people don’t matter and how the stuff they say don’t matter and how the only important thing is what we think of ourselves. That is the piece of advice that still helps me from not being bothered by other people’s words. That helped me to be myself and not to be how people want me to be.
If at all I have a tiny bit of sensitivity and emotions in me (on contrary to the general male stereotype), it because of her. She taught me how important it is to be sensitive. To talk to people about our problems. How talking is the only solution to everything. And how not to be held on to one emotion for a long time and move on with our lives. When to be sensitive and when not to be. How to choose people in my life. When to judge. When not to judge. And whole lot about life that made me what I am today.
She taught me how important people are in my life. How important friends and family are. How important it is to keep them close to us always. Why it is not okay to disregard some stuff. I was always astonished to see her circle of people and the contacts she has. The way she makes friends and makes conversations with anyone. That is something I’ve been trying to learn from her for a long time.
One should learn to be humble like her with so many talents. If I even had a fraction of the talents that she had, I would be showing off every single day but she takes it so cool all the time. When a day comes when I become talented like her and still behave with such modesty, that is when I would consider myself successful.
I have never behaved like the perfect child. I was pretentious. Showing the holier than thou attitude everyday. Made her life hell. Argued for silly stuff. Took too much advantage of the generation gap. I was utterly obnoxious. But she never hated me. She loved me for what I am which is something no one else can ever do in this world. She cared for me. She moulded me into a better person. She made me ready for the bigger world. She taught me that life isn’t fair. She understood me. She is the reason for whatever I am now.
Amma, sorry if I was not perfect all the days. I will try to be better hereafter. And I promise that I won’t be a disappointment.
Wishing you from more than 13,000 kms away, brought close thanks to technology,
Happy birthday ma. Thanks for being there for me always.