Do you ever have this thought of ‘will I ever do this thing again?’ every time you do something? Imagine having that thought for every single thing you do for a few days. And every single second for one full day. I recently spent a day like that and trust me, it wasn’t easy. That day warranted me to be both super excited about something and also drastically sad about some other thing. And both the extreme feelings juggling inside you is the worst thing one could possibly experience.
I was traveling abroad for the first time in my life and there was a fair chance of me spending the rest of my life there but we don’t want to believe the hard truth do we? So technically that day could be described as my farewell and farewells are difficult. I have had a couple of farewells before but this one changed my life.
As an average cynic, I had made peace with the fact that nobody cares for anyone in this world. But this day proved me wrong. I was flabbergasted by the amount of care I received that particular day. People actually visited my home just because they could not make it to the airport that day. People calling from all over to wish me luck. People telling me everything they know to make my travel safe and comfortable. People whom I don’t even know offering to help me to make my life easier. Good people. Kind people. The kind of people that I thought were extinct in this world. Long before the indifferent soul inside of me could comprehend with what was happening, I found myself at the entrance of the airport with another swarm of people pouring all kinds of love and care all over me. I was blanked out.
My mind did not have an emotion for this. I could say I was in loss of words but I don’t think the words I could utter at that point of time were part of my vocabulary. All that my face could do was creepily smile and hope that people don’t get offended. My mind was filled with so many questions. What did I do to deserve all this? Why was I so blinded by the nonsensical concept of indifference? Why am I running away from all this kindness?
Every part of my body that contributes to the emotion of crying were working vigorously except my eyes. I waved everyone goodbye by making myself believe that it would take a really long time to see them in person again. I waved goodbye to the little droplets of tears in the edge of some people’s eyes. I waved goodbye to people whom I love and care the most in my life. I waved goodbye to the greatest city in the world. I waved goodbye as I walked pass the wall as I took one final glimpse of the smile in those faces. I waved goodbye. And then I cried.